We look better from behind

We ran our (very nice) asses off today!

Today Mike (aka Superman), Sheila (aka Wonder Woman), Eric (aka Green Lantern) and I (aka The Flash) ran the Rochester Marathon Relay. We wore sweet superhero t-shirts and our team name was 'We look better from behind.' Relays are so much fun and I hope to do more of them in the future.

I ran the first leg (6.5 miles) and finished in 45:31. That's a faster pace than I ran my last 10K, and I think the first 3 miles of that was also the fastest I've run lately so I'm pretty happy with that. Then I took off my race number and ran along with Mike for his leg (6 miles). He ran his leg in just over an hour, which is his fastest 6 miles ever, faster even than the pace he ran in the ER 5K! He is doing so well, especially since he's only been running for a few months. Sheila ran the third and longest leg (7.5 miles) and she was super fast at an average of 9:15 minute mile pace! Eric ran the last 6 and change miles in a strong sub 8 minute mile pace, bringing us to a finish of 3:46:45. Way to go team!

And we definitely had the coolest shirts and team name!

It was a beautiful day for a run: a little cold this morning but 60's and sunny by the end. I was planning to run hard for my leg and I definitely felt like I did that. Mike said I didn't look good when I got to him, but I'm glad I kept going. I recovered quickly and felt really good for the rest of Mike's leg. Part of me wished I was running a full marathon today, so that seems like a good sign, since 2 weeks from today I will be.

No matter how I run at Wineglass, I will have at least 3 awesome reasons to celebrate afterwards: Mike finishing his first half marathon, Sheila kicking ass in her first marathon, and Eric running his fastest half ever. Hopefully I will also have a good race, but I can't wait to see my friends achieve their goals!

Lyric of the moment: "From tree to tree, from you to me. Traveling twice as fast as on any freeway. Every single dream, wrapped up in the scheme.They all get carried on the relay..."

Enough

I haven't been very good at sleeping lately. I am restless, I toss and turn, I wake up in the middle of the night and lay there (lay? lie? I never get that right). I have dreams about chasing something or being chased. I'm not scared, but there is a sense of urgency, like I need to keep moving. I get up early and run because I don't know what else to do. Maybe my unconscious is trying to tell me something that I haven't figured out yet.
Use your words, Brain. I don't understand you.

I ran 18 miles on Saturday, 11 on Sunday, 5 on Tuesday, 5 on Wednesday, 3 very early this morning. It feels like a lot and not enough at the same time.

I am almost 30 years old. That seems like a lot of time, like I should have more to show for 3 decades of life, like I should be better at everything than I am now, like I should have finally outgrown that awkward phase.
There is a part of me that is always pushing for more. It's good to have some sort of drive, but I know that more isn't necessarily better. Many of our problems are caused by that constant desire for more. We eat too much, we lounge too much, we spend too much, we want too much (This is turning into a Dave Matthew's song).

I find it hard to balance my desire for self improvement with my desire to be more in-the-moment and content with what I have. How can I slow down and savor the moments of my life but also cram in as much living and doing and improving as I can?

How much is enough?

Lyric of the moment: "I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it..." (I love Adele but wish she had happier things to sing about.)

In the future when everything is marvelous

Summer, while not officially over until September 23rd, sure seems to have left the building. I'm sad to say goodbye to summer and all its long days and warm nights, but fall is imminent. There's no use complaining about the inevitable, and I actually have a lot to look forward to in the next few months. An epic race. A milestone birthday. Parties and adventures. I'm still hoping for an Indian summer, but I know the cold is coming so I might as well embrace it instead of trying to fight it. Though I am rather scrappy, it's obvious that I would not win that fight. So it's time to put on more layers and focus on all the marvelous moments coming to a future near me.

In a way, I feel like each season is a bit of a fresh start. Another chance to be better than I was this time last year. I don't want to waste time complaining that it's too wet, too cold, too whatever. Whatever the day brings, I want to make the best of it. With rain comes the opportunity to wear galoshes and splash in puddles and have movie marathons. With snow comes the opportunity to wear my hat with the elephant on it and have snowball fights and drink hot chocolate and build forts out of blankets. I can't remember the last time I made a fort out of blankets. I am way overdue for some fort time.

And the best thing about the weather is that it's always changing. If you don't like today, just wait, tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow will be marvelous.

Lyric of the moment: "And I had a dream it blows the autumn through my head. It felt like the first day of school, but I was going to the moon instead..." (I wish!)

A bit of apprehen-shin

On Saturday morning I ran 20 miles out in Fairport with Dan. Even though I've run four 20 mile training runs this year, the thought of it is still daunting. It sounds so far, so intimidating. But you run 20 miles the same way you run one mile: one step at a time.

On Sunday morning I ran from my parents' house (where I am house sitting and dog sitting while they're out of town) to my house. It's about 6 miles. Not a very scenic route, but I'd never run from there to here before and now I can say I have. Sometimes it's nice to run as a means to actually get somewhere, instead of ending up in the same place I started.

My right shin has been bothering me for a few days. I don't know what I did to it, but evidently it wasn't very pleased. I've been icing and stretching it and so far it hasn't stopped me from running, but whatever's wrong, I hope it heals quickly. To be honest, I rarely think about my shins. The only reason I notice them now is that they hurt. Maybe they are feeling unappreciated. So shins, thanks for the almost 30 years of support, all that determina-shin and dedica-shin. You're the best shins a girl could ask for. And that's no exaggera-shin.

There are so many training plans out there, it's hard to know whose advice to follow. Am I running enough? Am I resting enough? Will I be ready for this marathon? I guess I won't know until the time comes. I do feel stronger this time around. After the long runs this summer I haven't been taking naps like I did in the spring and I haven't felt too tired or wiped out. Hopefully this is a good sign.

Lyric of the moment: "These are the days that make up the lifetimes..And this is the only thing I wanted more than anything."

This random Wednesday

Yesterday, I was reading http://www.eatthedamncake.com/ and I came across this sentence: "the moment is irretrievably, irrevocably, eternally gone." And I thought I'm never going to be in this moment again, I'm never going to live through August 31, 2011 again, I'm never going to be 10,904 days old again. This is it. These moments, these days. They're here and then they're gone. So what am I doing with them? Am I making the best of them? Did I live this August 31st, 2011 in the best way I could?

I went to work, ran some trails, ate dinner and spent time with my love, made delicious peanut butter and banana sundaes and went to sleep in my awesome bed. Nothing particularly earth shatering or life changing happened, but not bad for a random Wednesday. It was a nice, ordinary, happy day.

I want a life of monumental, jet-setting, volcano climbing, skydiving, marathon running, arms-are-for-hugging, non-stop laughing, unforgettable days. But I also want all the so-called 'ordinary' days in between. However many days and moments I have left, I want to enjoy all of them.

I'm going to try to put more extraordinary into every ordinary day.

Because, barring the invention of time travel or a severe disturbance in the space-time continuum, I'll never be back here again.

Lyric of the moment: "Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want. We're young enough to say, oh this has gotta be the good life, this has gotta be the good life, this could really be a good, good life."

Life and death and running

We had a funeral to go to at 9am Saturday morning, but I was too antsy to wait until Sunday for my long run so I woke up at 4:30am on Saturday and ran 20 miles. It was the first time I've ever run 20 miles by myself, and I was a little nervous about it, but I finished in about 2 hours 54 minutes. On Sunday I ran 9 miles with Mike, which brings my weekly mileage to a total of 50 miles. That's the most I've ever run in a week and I feel pretty good considering. The long runs don't feel any easier per se, but I do notice that I seem to recover faster and I'm not as sore afterwards. So I think my body is slowly getting used to going the distance.

But I really hope the Wineglass Marathon goes well so that I can take a little break this winter and run whatever I feel like running instead of training for a race.

At the funeral I was looking around at all the people brought together by this one incredible man who had touched all their lives. And I was thinking about how amazing it is to be alive and how I never want to take it for granted. Every day I'm alive, no matter what happens, is still a good day. And every day I get to run and laugh and spend time with the people I love and experience the world around me is an awesome day.

Lyric of the moment: "Do you realize that happiness makes you cry. Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die. And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that life goes fast. It's hard to make the good things last. You realize the sun doesn't go down. It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round..."

Inevitable freak out

It's getting close. Only 39 days until marathon #2. I am starting to freak out a little. I've done one 18 mile run so far, but I have another 18 miler and two 20 milers coming up. I thought this time around I would feel more confident since I've gone through it already, but I think I'm even more nervous now. And I still have doubts about everything.

Yesterday I ran 4 miles before work and what I thought was 5 miles after work. When I finished, I was discouraged to see a time of 47 minutes. Then I mapped out my route on Google maps, discovered that I'd actually run 6 miles, and felt a little better. But for some reason I still feel like I'm going too slow.

Truth be told, I am a little afraid of this marathon. But I suppose courage is not about never being afraid. Courage is running towards the fear instead of away from it.

Worries:
What if I'm getting slower? What if this marathon is another epic fail?

Reassurances:
So what? If you fail, you will get back up and try again. And again. For as long as it takes. You have always been more tortoise than hare. Slow, steady, relentless in your pursuit of progress. Life will go on. Everyone will still like you (probably). It's pointless to worry about something that may not happen. And if you do come to that bridge, run across it.

When I get to the end of my life, I won't care how fast I was, only that I kept on running. I won't care about all the times I failed, only that they lead to all the times I succeeded. I won't care about how I looked, only about all the amazing places my body took me. It's time to worry less and enjoy more.
Lyric of the moment: "I was a humdrum person, leading a life apart, when love flew in through my window wide and quickened my humdrum heart..." (Because watching Midnight in Paris made me want to listen to Cole Porter.)

The bare necessities

In Hawaii I ran past volcanoes, palm trees and ocean views. My first run back in Rochester, I ran past a used condom on Monroe Ave.

Vacation is officially over.

New dream: Move to Hawaii. Or somewhere similarly tropical and on the ocean. Preferably with a reasonable cost of living.

I think I was made to live by the sea. I wouldn't need a lot of space or stuff. I wouldn't even need a kitchen. Just a bedroom, bathroom, fridge and possibly a microwave. I'd live out of a dorm room if it was by the sea. Maybe even a tent, though I have to admit I am quite fond of indoor plumbing and that soft, cushion-y toilet paper with the cute puppies on the package.

I have so much stuff here that is really unnecessary. To be happy, all I really need is running, friends, love and ice cream (beyond the basics of food, water, shelter, not being chased by hungry lions, mosquitoes or Jehovah's Witnesses, etc). The rest is just the cherry on top of the delicious sundae that is my life.

Dear Universe, I can't take many more endless Rochester Winters, so please send me a plane ticket back to paradise. I will bring the Donkey Balls! (best chocolate covered macadamia nuts ever).

Lyric of the moment: "Don't spend your time looking around for something you want that can't be found. When you find out you can live without it, and go along not thinking about it, I'll tell you something true. The bare necessities of life will come to you..."

Adventures in Hawaii

The thing about Hawaii is that when you get there, jet lagged after 3 flights and a 6 hour time difference and weary of planes full of kids who only stop screaming when they're puking, you step off the plane to views of a gorgeous sunset and all you can think is: totally worth it.

The weather is beautiful, the landscape is breathtaking, the people are so happy and friendly and the Shave Ice is delicious. It's paradise with an Orange Julius.

We stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa village on Hawaii's Big Island, which is a resort type area. The hotel is like a village in itself, an impressive complex of hotel towers, pools (with water slides!), statues, dolphins, shops, restaurants and a lagoon, with a tram and boat to shuttle guests from place to place.

On Sunday, we went on a tour of Volcano National Park on the other side of the Big Island, where we climbed through a lava tube and down into a caldera, ate dinner on lava rocks near the ocean and watched the glow of the lava at night.

On Monday and Tuesday, we rented a car (and got a free upgrade to a Jeep. Bonus!) and drove to Kona, where we went parasailing, rode in a submarine, and inadvertently wound up on the beach in front of The Four Seasons.

Vacation is one of my favorite weeks of the year, and this trip was my all-time favorite so far. We relaxed by the pool, went on adventures, ate room service dessert and I read 5 books. I love how vacation makes the world seem simultaneously so big (we traveled for 16 hours each way and didn't even leave the U.S.) and so small (there was a family from Buffalo, NY in our volcano tour group.)

And I hope we have many more vacations to come.

Lyric of the moment: "I see skies of blue, and clouds of white. And the brightness of day and darkness of night. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world..."

On vacation

In 12 hours we're leaving for Hawaii. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! If it's possible to explode from excitement, it might get a little messy in here.

No work, no worries, only awesomeness.

This is going to be the best week ever!

Lyric of the moment: "Come with me, my love, to the sea, the sea of love. I wanna tell you how much I love you..."