Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Question.

I was sitting in traffic in the left lane on the exit ramp and I could tell it was going to take at least a few more light changes before I got anywhere close to being able to turn left and go home. Everyone else was just waiting in line, but I noticed that the right lane was almost empty so I moved over into the right lane, turned right on red at the light, turned around in the gas station parking lot and headed back the way I wanted to go. All the other cars were still sitting there in the left lane, going nowhere fast. Maybe I should have been patient and waited in line forever like everyone else. But I can't simply follow along with something just because everyone else is doing it or because that's the way it's always been done. I have to question it. I want to know why. I want to know what the other options are.

And maybe that's what's wrong with me. Sometimes people don't like it when you ask a lot of questions. They want to know why you can't just trust them and do what they say. And it's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I want explanations and information and answers. And then sometimes I want to throw them all out the window and do something totally different instead. Because why not? We're alive and we can do anything.

I could be content to sit in traffic. I'd find some good songs on the radio, maybe have a little dance party in the car, maybe just daydream a little, or press the scan button and listen to 15 second snippets of each different station. (You'd be surprised how hilarious that can be. The best thing I ever heard while doing that was a fragment of church-y radio where some preacher guy said "If you want closure in your relationship, close your legs." Imagine hearing that sandwiched in between parts of Rihanna and Brittney Spears songs. The best, right?). But I could also be content to consider alternative routes and get home a little quicker and have more time for puppy cuddles.

Is it possible to be in the moment where you are and simultaneously be open to all the other possibilities that await you? I want to figure out how to do that.

Lyric of the moment: "Celebrate, don't be late. Finish what's on your plate. Be the change you wanna see. Seek the truth, set it free. And I wanna tell you, this is a reminder. Why does time move so fast? Precious things never last. Figure out, don't forget. Only love, no regrets."

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