Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Reminders to self: on doubt

I have a lot of highly ridiculous thoughts. I don't know where they come from, they just appear. Some of them are funny.  A lot of them are questions. But it's the doubts I have to watch out for, those pernicious little con-artists. They're always up to no good.

Tuesday and Sunday, we went out on Mike's uncle's boat for some swimming, water skiing and tubing and it was a blast. So here's the thing, self: promise me that if someone is generous enough to invite you on their boat (or on any other adventure),  you'll go! You'll be grateful and excited and you'll have an awesome time. You won't freak out about not being tan or looking more six pack of cookies than six-pack abs or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Promise me that you'll never let your doubts keep you from adventures.

So you don't have six-pack abs. What you do have is guts. Which is all you really need to get to the places most worth going.

It's not like there's some rule that you have to look flawless in order to wear a swimsuit or enjoy your life. When you look back, you're going to remember what you did and how you felt and all the experiences you had, not all of your imperfections and doubts. All that self-conscious crap is in your head. And all it does is hold you back. So don't let it.

There's no one "right" way you're supposed to look or be. Beauty, like awesomeness, is everywhere and in everyone.

Don't waste time on doubts. Get busy being awesome.

Lyric of the moment: "And I wonder...If everything could ever be this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when..."


Monday, July 15, 2013

Awesome vs. Not Awesome

Things that are awesome:
*Weekend adventures: BBQ Blues Festival at Highland Park, Corn Hill Festival, going to see Bill Maher's stand-up act. (The D&C article about Bill Maher coming to Rochester mentioned that he used to be on Murder She Wrote. What?! I totally have to find old Murder She Wrote episodes on Netflix and look for him.)
*Running to the beach. I love that I live within running distance of a waterfall and the beach. It's not a very scenic route to get there, but I love the beach view. Sometimes it is about the destination. After my run, I was stretching on a picnic table, waiting for Mike to come pick me up, and a woman walking by said to me "That's an interesting place to do yoga. I would never have thought of that." I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and kept stretching.
*Swimming in the gym pool on Sunday mornings. Hardly anyone else is there and it makes me feel the best kind of tired, like I just ran 15 miles but nothing hurts.
*Edy's Outshine Fruit Bars. In every flavor. Sooooo good!

Things that are decidedly not awesome:
*Last week I noticed a charge on my bank statement from Embassy Suites in Dallas and it was definitely not me who made that purchase. Rut-roh. I called the bank to dispute the charge and thankfully they refunded me the money, cancelled my debit card and are sending me a new one. But I am still a little freaked out. Stupid identity thieves. As my Grandma Pratt would say "Cheater, cheater, pants on fire."
*During my run this morning, a homeless and/or drunk lady said good morning to me. I said good morning back, then as I ran past she yelled "Lose weight, yo!" I didn't know whether to laugh or be insulted.
*Somehow I have Poison Ivy. Or something equally itchy and red on my arms and back. Ugh. As if I wasn't already itchy enough normally. I need a vat of Calamine lotion. Or better, less sensitive skin.

Lyric of the moment: "Let's have an adventure. Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered..."

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Assorted hijinks

My 4th of July holiday was 4 days of shenanigans with family and friends, running, a bit of swimming and eating all the ice cream and popsicles. Because that is what holidays are for. I don't think you can ever have too many hijinks or too many 4 day weekends.

I am so bad at swimming. Like tragicomically bad. But I don't care. I just love being in the water. And I want to run all over everywhere. On trails, on the beach, on roads, to the ice cream shops, to the moon (I wish!).

And it has finally happened. I have found the impossible. A convertible strapless bra that fits well, is very comfortable and not at all itchy, stays in place even when I run around and jump up and down and cost only $16.99. So yeah, I'm pretty much unstoppable now.

Sometimes I find myself thinking well that is either a fantastic idea or a terrible idea. And that's how I know I'm headed in the right direction. Because usually hijinks ensue. Or I learn a really important lesson. But either way, it is bound to be, as they say, an experience.

Whenever I leave their house, Mom says "Be careful" and Dad says "Drive fast and take chances." And I try to do a little of both.

Today at work I was asking a candidate about her experience and the technologies she's worked with and she said "If you want to know about toilets, I'm your girl. I bet you never thought you'd hear that today. You have to have a sense of humor about these things." So true.

Lyric of the moment: "Let's dance to joy division. And raise our glass to the ceiling. 'Cause this could all go so wrong, but we're so happy..."

Friday, June 28, 2013

Where we're going there are no roads

Infinity of thanks to all my parts because they have been working like champs, letting me have all the adventures I want. Like last week's 2 workout Tuesday (AM speed work on the track and PM trail run. I haven't done a 2-a-day in so long, it was the best!), a couple road runs, 7 miles of hilly trails on Saturday, loops up Cobb's Hill, machete-ing (my backyard is a weed jungle. We're talking weeds on steroids. But I am now the proud owner borrower of a machete! I think I may have found my calling. I bet it's hard to feel anything except straight up badass after a day of machete wielding), and empanada making (Mike taught me how to make empanadas and I was all like "Look at me, I'm cooking," even though my part was really more assembling than cooking. But the stove was on, so it totally counts. And then I ate all the vegetarian empanadas. Great success!)

I'm really hoping I get better at trails because trail running reminds me of everything I loved about being a kid - running through the woods, climbing trees, playing catch with Dad when he would throw the football or frisbee really far and then I'd run as fast as I could and try and jump up and catch it. (Note to self: find someone who wants to play frisbee sometime. But not in an organized way like Ultimate. More like a barefoot, fun, disorganized way. Or something.)

Another note: buy bug spray. A lot of bug spray. I have become an all-you-can-eat buffet for mosquitoes. It's very itchy.

It's officially summer and I want to get dirty and sweaty. And then get clean and enjoy some air conditioning.

So body parts, I'll bring the bug spray and you bring the awesome sauce. Because where we're going there are no roads.

Lyric of the moment: "Things they go my way, I'm back together again. I'm staring in the mirror and it's been so long since I've seen you my friend..."


Friday, June 14, 2013

Impossible things for breakfast

I like vegetables. I really do. (Except you Brussels sprouts. You're the worst.) But I like them better when they taste like dessert.

Enter the Ninja.

It's a fancy blender/food processor jobber that I received as a gift for some long past holiday and which had languished in my pantry unused. Until today. I guess I was hoping that actual ninjas would sneak in with their swords and chop me up a smoothie all stealthy-like. I even opened the box and left the Ninja on the kitchen counter for a few days as a giant hint. But alas, delicious smoothies never materialized. Apparently if you want some ninja-ing to go down, you have to do it yourself.

So this morning I finally got around to commencing Operation Smoothie. I threw in some spinach, a few baby carrots, vanilla soy milk, a frozen banana and cinnamon and ended up with a smoothie that looked rather gross but tasted most excellent. I prefer my vegetables to taste like cinnamony-banana goodness. Mission accomplished. (Though the Ninja is not stealthy at all. That thing is loud. But bonus points for being able to make a smoothie in a single serving takeaway cup.)

I think my forearms may even be getting bigger from all that spinach. Watch out vegetables. I'm so going to Ninja all of you!

Lyric of the moment: "Nobody's gonna see me coming. Nobody's gonna hear a sound. No matter how hard they trying, no stopping me since I've found my inner ninja..."

Monday, June 10, 2013

Fast times

Photos taken by Sheila, one of my favorite fast women
My legs have been feeling good (knock on wood or whatever else I can knock on for continued good luck), but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'm still not in decent enough shape to run with other people. Then I was like screw that, I really, really miss running with other people. Plus, last Thursday night it was raining and I just felt like getting muddy. So I went to the Medved trail run to splash through puddles and jump over logs and play in the rain. Good times.

I am not a trail runner. I don't have the grace or confidence or attention span for it. I always think I'm going to be the one who face plants or sprains something or falls in a ravine. (To date, I have fallen in zero ravines, but it's good to have goals.) I think maybe I'm too cautious sometimes, too hesitant, afraid of taking the wrong step and getting hurt. But there are moments on the downhills where I can feel myself letting go, my legs taking off as if they had a mind of their own. And it's the best.

And yes, I would love to be fast and get better and stronger. But mostly I just want to have fun and keep running for as long as I can. I want to run all over the place with awesome people and dress up and climb on things and take ridiculous pictures.


Fast times in the Total Sports Experience parking lot
I hadn't raced in over a year, but Saturday was the Fashion Week 5K to benefit the Center For Youth. And I really wanted to wear this dress I thrifted a while back but hadn't yet worn because the slit in the back makes it indecently short (and that kind of view is invitation only). But with running shorts and a sports bra underneath I'd be good to go. I'm of the mindset buy the dress and the occasion will arise. And so it did. I put on my lace dress, laced up my running shoes and tried to keep up with the fast guys. The course itself was boring, basically 3 laps in a parking lot. But it was flat and I was really there for the outfits and bagels anyway. I ended up in 4th place overall (technically 3rd but only because Eric waited for me and let me have it) with a time of 22:25. It felt good. I mean I was definitely working hard but I wasn't in any pain. I'd like to see what I could do with a little training. I'm hoping to get in some speed work, trails and distance runs this summer and see what happens.

The weekend's other adventures included watching Now You See Me (at the AMC Theater in Webster where the seats are recliners!), Hibachi, taking Polaroids, chillin' on my new front porch listening to records (randomly, an orange cat and a black cat came over and were hanging out on my porch. I don't care about cats, but if any dogs come over I'm calling finders keepers), watching the Red Wings game from a suite (Thanks to some guy my dad knows from work. I would totally watch more sports if I could do so while eating Dippin Dots in a suite. Also, I learned that there is such a thing called a beer bong. I was like "Why is that beer in a tube?" and Dad told me "It's called a beer bong."), and playing euchre. It's like all of my loves in one weekend. Sooooo good!

Lyric of the moment: "And our dreams will break the boundaries of our fear..."



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Reminders to self: on success

If I were a character from Greek mythology, I think I'd be Icarus, so excited to fly that I'd soar too close to the sun and plummet to my death in the sea. I'm with Teddy Roosevelt who said, "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." I mean, I don't want to be an idiot about it. There's a fine line between daring mighty things and doing mightily stupid things. But I'd rather be up in the air - flying, flailing, even plummeting - than safely sitting at home, never having left the ground.

Sometimes I think about what it means to be successful. Am I succeeding at life? I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. Success means different things to different people. I'm sure I fall far short of some people's definition of success. But that's irrelevant. I'm not trying to impress or prove anything to anyone. I'm only trying to live up to my own ideas of what it means to be a successful robot/person. For me, success isn't about money or power or fame. It's about daring mighty things. It's boldness and bravery and learning and growing and taking chances. It's falling down 7 times and getting up 8. I'm ok with mistakes and failures and awkwardness and a wee bit of discomfort. I'm not ok with being afraid to try and never venturing out of my comfort zone.

For me, success is more about attitude than accomplishment. It's kindness and empathy and gratitude. It's being open to experiences and people and loving the crap out of everything. I think as long as I'm doing those things, I'll be happy with whatever happens as a result.

The weird thing is that I haven't gotten any smarter or stronger or prettier or richer or anything like that, but I do feel better about everything. I think what changed is that I became really bad at self loathing. Now when my head gets all OMG you are the worst ever. Terrible. F, I'm just like Oh hey crazy lady, how's it going? Life is good, no? Let's get frozen yogurt and watch Newlyweds and LA Shrinks! (I mean where does Bravo even find these people? They are the worst best.)

Lyric of the moment: "I can't be told it can't be done..."

Friday, May 17, 2013

The rush of impending freedom

I'm lucky to have a job and I'm especially fortunate to have one I enjoy, but sometimes work is still....work. And on Fridays I get a little jolt of excitement, the rush of impending freedom.

Work has been crazier than usual lately. In addition to all my normal work, I've been doing the payroll for a few weeks. It makes me nervous - I don't want to make any mistakes. Plus it's a weird feeling to write out one's own paycheck. But it keeps things interesting. I can hardly believe I've been working here for nine years now. What a long strange trip it's been. And I mean that in the very best way.

The working hard I don't mind so long as it's balanced out by some playing hard. Last weekend Mom and I saw Les Misérables at the Auditorium Theater (such a depressing story but the music is beautiful). This week Mike and I went to free member movie night at The Little to see The Great Gatsby (and now I am coveting all those 1920's dresses hardcore) and we caught the tail end of Rusted Root playing at the Lilac Festival (but it was too crowded to move or find anyone). I'm hoping this weekend will be filled with running and kettle corn or possibly a frosty in a waffle cone, which the radio told me is a new thing. It's about time.

I would like to be spending some time on my brand new porch, but the guy got held up on another job and now he can't start work on my house until next week. I just want to get it all over with and pay him because the longer I wait the harder it is to keep myself from going into full-on ridiculous mode and freaking out about spending money. That train of thought runs nonstop service to a future where I am destitute and living in a cardboard box. And I do not want to be in a cardboard box. I want to be in a hammock swing. On a porch. Eating a frosty.

Lyric of the moment: "Baby in our wildest moments, we could be the greatest, we could be the greatest. Baby in our wildest moments, we could be the worst of all..."

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The cost of awesome sauce

The price of awesomeness is that sometimes you end up in pain. Or really phlegmy. One week I'm touring Egypt and the next I'm becoming best friends with Nyquil and the only sights I'm seeing are the insides of my eyelids. So it goes.

Every time I go somewhere new and fabulous, I return with a cold. But it's all good. I like to think of it as giving my immune system some new challenges, some foreign and exciting germs to vanquish. My body and I are still speaking different languages, but at least now I'm actually listening and trying to understand. Rather than being that annoying tourist who tries to communicate in a foreign land by speaking increasingly loudly in his own language. As if there is some magic decibel level at which his words will get all Rosetta Stoned and suddenly everyone will understand him. I don't want to be that guy. I'm putting down my fanny pack and backing away slowly.

The thing about pain and discomfort is that sometimes it's a warning sign, a call to action or immediate cessation of the current action. But sometimes that discomfort is a sign of growth, a manifestation of all the awesomeness building up inside of you.

Lyric of the moment: "Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..."

Monday, April 29, 2013

Epic adventures in Egypt

If I do say so myself, my first solo trip was a smashing success. It took me 3 flights and 20+ hours to get there but it was totally worth it. Egypt was amazing! I got to see Cairo, the Pyramids of Giza and Saqqara, the Sphinx, Luxor Temple, the Valley of the Kings, Karnak Temple, the Egyptian museum and King Tutankhamon's treasure and ride on a camel, a felucca (sailboat) on the Nile and an overnight sleeper train (though sleeper train is really a misnomer. It's rather hard to sleep with all the shaking, jolting and squeaking going on. But they do give you 3 different kinds of rolls for breakfast, so maybe carbo train would be a better name).

My trip was through On The Go Tours, which I highly recommend. The other people in the tour group, 2 from South Africa and 2 from Australia, were really cool and we had a great guide, Hesham, who is an Egyptologist. He told us all about life in ancient Egypt as well as modern Egypt. He was honest about the problems facing Egypt today, but it was obvious that he loves his country. And the best way to see anything is through the eyes of someone who is passionate about it.

Driving in Cairo was fascinating to watch. There are no rules, no lanes, and crazy traffic. I saw a few stoplights but no one seemed to be heeding them. We rode past, on the one hand, sheep eating garbage in the street in front of a butcher shop where they would eventually end up on the menu, the City of the Dead (a cemetery where a million people live) and tons of unfinished and illegal apartment buildings and, on the other hand, The Four Seasons Residence Hotel, where you can drive your fancy expensive car into an elevator and up to your fancy expensive room.

Since the revolution in January 2011, tourism in Egypt has really decreased, which is sad because it's one of their main industries and sources of employment/income. But if you're a tourist, it's a great time to visit Egypt because there are no lines and you can have the pyramids and other tourist sites practically to yourself. Plus, when we went to the pyramids, we were accompanied by a man from the tourist police. It was like having our very own bodyguard, even though there was really nothing to guard us from. People seemed to be surprised that I was from the U.S. because apparently in the past few years Americans have been afraid to visit Egypt. It's such a shame because the country and its people are awesome. My fellow Americans, you are really missing out on some epic adventures. The other people in my group also told me I didn't have much of an American accent. I asked what typical Americans sound like and they said "more Texan," which I thought was hilarious.
Shopping in Egypt is quite the experience as well. Everywhere we went, people followed us around trying to sell us souvenirs. Some of them were very aggressive and didn't want to take no for an answer. I almost got scammed by a guy who overcharged me for postcards and stamps, but lucky for me Hesham got him to give me some money back. Hesham also taught us how to barter like an Egyptian. If you pay the price they initially quote you, you'll usually be overcharged, but if you walk away they will follow you and keep lowering the price or ask what you want to pay.

To be honest, I was a little apprehensive about solo travel, but going with a group I never felt alone. I'd still prefer to have a travel partner for future adventures, but if the choice is either go alone or stay home, I'm definitely going. This trip has only increased my insatiable wanderlust. After hearing all about South Africa and Australia from my travel mates, I totally want to experience those countries as well. My current cravings are for Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and going on a safari, but there are so many places I want to go it's hard to choose. I'm excited to go back to work so I can make more money for future trips!

Lyric of the moment: "I'm speeding out of reach. Oh, you're the one I had to meet...Wanderlust will carry us on..."