Everything

Sometimes I find myself wishing I was somewhere else instead of enjoying where I currently am. Sometimes and with some people, wherever we are and whatever we're doing, I feel happy and content to just be there. I don't know why it is easier for me to be in some moments than in others. Maybe I have to work harder at being in the moments that are more difficult for me. Maybe I have to sit with the discomfort and feel the bads/sads/mads and challenge them and find the greater truth behind them. Or maybe they are calls to change and I should heed them. I don't know. I have never been good at knowing when to stay and when to go. Because I can be happy anywhere. Though in some situations that happiness is more effortless than in others. So I don't know if the answer is to follow my passions or to become passionate about where I am. And I'm not sure how to go about doing either of those things.

I wish I was retired/independently wealthy so I could be a full-time adventurer/professional nap-taker/hugger/cookie deliverer/eater. I don't want to wish all my weekdays away to get to the weekends. I don't want to save all my better days for a future I may not get to see. Who knows how many days I have left. Probably, hopefully a lot. But maybe not. I don't think I want to spend the majority of my days sitting inside in front of a computer. I'm not exactly sure what I do want to do with them. Except everything.

Lyric of the moment: "Every waking moment I'm alive, I'm searching for you whether I know it or whether I realize..."