It's a strange feeling to drop your husband off at the airport, not knowing when you're going to see him again. Hopefully I will get to see Pete at least once while he's still stateside but there's a chance I may not see him for the entire 9 months. This is the official start of the whole deployment thing. Military life is not a choice that I would have ever made. But that's what happens when you marry someone; their choices become your choices by default. I have a lot of feelings about the situation, which can best be summed up in 3 letters: WTF? What is the point of any of this? Why can't people be nice to each other and get along? But I realize I'm looking at things from the extremely privileged and fortunate vantage point of someone whose life has been unmarred by violence or injustice. So I may not understand it or like it, but this is our reality right now so my only option is to suck it up and make the best of it.
It will be weird. It will be sad. But it will also be temporary. I never thought that I would say this, because they are my most favorite seasons, but I hope this Spring, Summer and Fall go by very quickly. For once, I will be excited for Winter since its arrival this year will herald Pete's homecoming. It's only been 24 hours and I already miss him so much. How could I not? This is the guy I married:
Life is just not as funny without Pete and his antics. But I'm lucky to have the most excellent company to adventure with in his absence. I cried on the way home from the airport and again when I got home and the reality of Pete not being there sunk in. But I also got to do a slightly infuriating but also strangely calming puzzle with Alison, Danielle and Laura, partake in an ice cream sandwich tasting in a hot tub (which is pretty much the best thing ever), and join Chris for road runs/winning chicken fights with cars.
In all honesty, I will probably cry a lot this year. But in between, I will adventure and laugh and feel extremely grateful. All my love and thanks to you, my friends. You make the sad times bearable and the good times most excellent.
Lyric of the moment: "It's so many miles and so long since I've met you. Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you. But suddenly now I know where I belong. It's many hundred miles and it won't be long..." ~Feist & Ben Gibbard "Train Song" (Ben Gibbard is an ultrarunner, you guys! That makes me so happy!)
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