Things I thought about while watching football

My last two Saturday long runs were less than stellar. Actually, in and of themselves, they were fantastic. The weather was beautiful (no snow! this is my kind of winter!) and I got through all 14 miles last Saturday and 16 miles this past Saturday with no soreness afterwards. The only problem was the discrepancy between reality and my thoughts/judgments/expectations of reality. Last week I was all congested and this week I had some stomach issues, but nothing that prevented me from running. They were only minor annoyances that I made worse by becoming frustrated with myself for being sick when I wanted to be well. Then I thought, I'm doing it again. I'm lamenting what is not instead of enjoying what is. I tried to stop the parade of shoulds and wants (this should feel easier, I should be faster, I want to be 100% better) and focus simply on the act of running in this group. The motion, the scenery, the conversations of people around me.

And I relaxed. I didn't feel much better physically but somehow it didn't seem to matter anymore. I had been distressed, not so much by the physical discomfort itself, but more so by my thoughts about it.

I watched the Superbowl last night with Mike and his family. Sometimes I wish I could watch my life the way I watch football. I find it interesting and at times exciting but I have no emotional attachment to the outcome. It doesn't matter to me what the score is or who wins. I have no personal investment in the results. I just like the long throws and diving catches and touchdown dances. I wonder what the players are thinking and if they have any pregame rituals. I wonder what their lives are like off the field. I wonder what would compel someone to change his last name to Ochocinco. But I have no expectations or judgments about what happens. I don't want it to be anything other than what it is. As I watch the fans yelling and coaches getting upset when a call is made that they deem unfair, I find myself admiring their enthusiasm but thinking it's sort of silly to get so upset about something they can't control.

And then I think oh yeah, I do that all the time in my own life. I've been that guy in the stands with the painted stomach cursing the refs for making (what I think is) a bad call.

So maybe the key is to have that much unbridled excitement for life without being attached to any particular outcome. Whatever happens, I have no reason not to wake up excited every day. I'm here, I'm alive, amazing things are happening and every day has the potential to be the best day ever.

Lyric of the moment: "But after that the floodgates opened up. And I fell in love with everyone I saw. Please take your time I'm not in any rush. And it's in everything I ever write..."