Why I'm not a Jedi. And other assorted nonsense

Because I don't know where else to put them, here are some of the thoughts bouncing around in my brain...

*Reasons why I would make a terrible Jedi: According to Yoda 1) "Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things." 2) "There is no why. Clear your mind of questions." 3) "I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience." I'm full of excitement, adventure and questions and lacking patience, a clear mind and a light saber.

*Sometimes I notice myself saying I can't (meditate, wear sweater tights, lift weights, give up dessert, etc), when the truth is not that I can't, but that I don't want to or I don't know how or I can but it will take a lot of work, etc. It's time to let go of my assumptions about my own limitations. The only thing that holds me back is me. And the fact that I don't have a spaceship. But mostly me.

*Oprah magazine did a feature on 6 word memoirs. I decided mine would be I ran, I loved, I laughed. Because those are my 3 favorite things (sorry, ice cream), the things that make me the happiest and most fulfilled.

*I had the new hardware installation removed. It was the worst. Decided to go with the software instead. Hopefully my other parts will be happy about that.

*I feel this semi-constant, mostly irrational need to save more money. It's annoying. So out of curiosity, I looked up my savings account statement from this time last year. Between then and now, I somehow put 21% of last year's income into savings. It seems like a significant amount, yet at the same time not nearly enough. I want to get better at saving, investing and all that financial whatnot, but I also want to relax and not worry or think about money. And those two things seem sort of incompatible. My life is ridiculously good. I have everything I need and a vast majority of the things I want. But I still have these moments where I feel completely inept at life, as if sheer luck is the only thing keeping me from living in a van down by the river.

*French proverb: "To believe a thing impossible is to make it so." So I suppose a good start to making a thing possible is to believe it so. Dear brain, hint hint.

*Funny saying: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." I'd rather ride on an elephant (yes! I must do this someday!) than eat one, but there are some elephant sized goals I'd like to accomplish. And I think small steps, made consistently, could be a good way to get there.

*Maybe I should stop thinking what if? And start thinking so what? Or find a spaceship, go to Dagobah and become a Jedi with a mind clear of questions.

Lyric of the moment: "What kind of paradise am I looking for? I've got everything I want and still I want more..."