The light at the end of the tunnel

If I had a dollar for every time in the past few months I've said something like "I'm sorry. I enjoyed meeting you but I just don't feel a connection," I could buy a lot of ice cream. Which I could really use. I'm not cut out for this whole dating thing. Internally I still feel like the wallflower, all braces and awkwardness, not getting asked to dance. Now somehow I'm on the other side of it, turning guys down. And it's the worst.

But I figure things will work out eventually. And in the meantime, I'm enjoying my ridiculously fortunate life. Yesterday was another funny day at work in which I got a bonus and Bill kept insisting on paying my cell phone bill and adding me to their corporate plan and I kept insisting that no, thank you very much but I can pay my own cell phone bill, and Bill told me I could leave early.

So I went to a coffee shop to read and drink chai. And this guy started talking to me about how he was being stood up. He was supposed to meet a girl there at 2:30 but she hadn't shown up yet. I was like Dude, I would have left at 3:00, but he said he was waiting until 5:00. In retrospect, I should have known the direction this conversation was headed. The only strangers who talk to me in public are elderly, homeless and/or crazy. (It would be nice if just once a single, hot, well-balanced thirty-something guy would strike up a random conversation with me. Dear universe, hint hint.) I felt bad for the poor guy until he said "Well if she doesn't show up, God will punish her." So yeah, he had a one way ticket to crazy town. Granted, it's inconsiderate to be a no-show and not even call, but it's possible this girl narrowly avoided becoming an episode of Criminal Minds.

Then a nice guy took me out for sushi and chocolate lava cake and said "I don't think you're weird." That makes one of us, but it's still nice to hear.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know when I'll get there but it's comforting to know it exists.

Lyric of the moment: "Take me out tonight. Because I want to see people and I want to see life...There is a light and it never goes out..."