Thursday, August 1, 2013

Enough. Or how I made peace with raisins.

How much is enough? As someone who always wants to do more and be more and push her limits, I struggle with this question. There's no right answer. It's more like a feeling. That is also constantly evolving. What hits the sweet spot of enough this year may not be the same as next year. I change my mind. It happens. There are so many places to go and people to meet and things to try. Some days I want to do everything all at once. Some days I want to do as little as possible. Most days I want to eat insane awe-inducing amounts of frozen yogurt.

Maybe how much is enough? isn't the whole question. Maybe I should also be asking what can I let go of ? and how can I be satisfied with less?

Less is more, right? Mostly. I'm happy in a smaller house with less stuff. I'm as happy exploring my hometown as I am trekking across the globe (but I still want to do both). I'm happiest when I'm running free (free of expensive running gear and a packed race schedule and basically any agenda other than running for the love of it). 

But I've also fallen victim to the mistaken conviction that I can do anything I want if I just work hard enough at it. It's motivating, sure. But also unrealistic. I mean, there are some things that are never going to happen no matter what I do.

Not with that attitude you won't!

See, there it goes again.

Sometimes I don't know how much is enough until I cross over the line into too much, dude, way too much. It's that after-Thanksgiving-dinner feeling of over-stuffedness (or to use non made-up words, excessive satiation). 

Truth be told, we may never know how much frozen yogurt is enough. (Never! It's never enough! All of it! Just kidding.) But seriously, I'm incredibly lucky to have everything I need and the vast majority of the things I want. It is more than enough. I know that. And yet, I feel like if I'm lucky enough to have all these good things, I could be doing so much more.

But enough of that nonsense.

The only thing I really know is how much is enough for me to make peace with my nemesis, the raisin. Those raisins are all wrinkly and gross, but I'm willing to give them a chance in the form of Kellogg's Raisin Bran, the box of which promised me the chance to win $50,000 if I entered its secret code online. Well played, Raisins. Well, played. That would definitely be enough.

Lyric of the moment: "Like the legend of the phoenix, all ends with beginnings. What keeps the planet spinning, the force of love beginning...We're up all night 'til the sun. We're up all night to get some. We're up all night for good fun. We're up all night to get lucky... (This is a good song to dance to in the car. I mean, totally when you're not driving. Safety, yo.)

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