A tale of ceiling holes and zombie bats

If this comes out of your ceiling, you have
real problems. (www.figurerealm.com)

I never cared much for fairy tales. Their happily ever afters were all about a handsome prince, a fancy castle and a lavish wedding. My happily ever after would be more like a zip line, the Paris marathon and a rocket ship. But sometimes, like when there's a hole in the ceiling, it would be nice to have a fairy godmother to come in and bibbidy bobbidy boo everything back together again.

Since I don't have a fairy godmother, I had a mini freak out instead. What if it costs $10,000 to fix? What if I wake up tomorrow and I'm downstairs because my bed fell through the ceiling? What if a zombie bat comes out of the hole? You know, because things like that happen all the time.

The problem is that the bathroom floor wasn't level so the toilet didn't sit completely flat and over time, it moved around, the seal got loose and water dripped down into the entryway ceiling. The bigger problem is that earlier this year I paid someone to redo my entire bathroom, including a new floor, and I specifically mentioned that it had to be leveled out, but apparently they did not install the new floor correctly because it's still not level. And now there is a hole in the ceiling and I am very annoyed.

I know this is not a huge problem and it will get taken care of one way or another. Mike is going to be my muscle and call the guy who did the bathroom to try to get him to come back and fix it. If that doesn't happen, I will pay someone else to fix the bathroom floor and then fix the entryway ceiling. It will not cost anywhere close to $10,000, the whole second floor isn't going to fall through to the first floor and I don't think zombie bats exist. And if they did, I don't know why they'd be in my ceiling. It's not like I have a house made out of candy like that witch from Hansel and Gretel.

But when things like this happen, I question why I bought a house by myself. I'm not handy. I can't fix any of this shit and if I pay someone else to do it, I don't even know if they're doing a good job or not. I guess this is still an adventure, though it would have been better if treasure had fallen from the hole instead of dirty ceiling water.

Lyric of the moment: "There's a hole in the ceiling down through which I fell. There's a girl in a basement coming out of her shell. And there are people who will say that they knew me so well..."