I am restless. I feel like I should be doing something, anything. But I know that sometimes the best thing I can do is nothing. I have done all I can do and now I have to let the chips fall where they may. So I'm feeling whatever I feel and not judging myself for it. It's not that I did something wrong, it's not that I wasn't enough. Sometimes the way someone treats you is more about them than it is about you. I can't control what anyone else does. But I can forgive and ask to be forgiven. And after that, it is out of my hands.
I don't know what other people think about love. But to me it is about acceptance - accepting another person completely, both strengths and weaknesses - and commitment - making a conscious choice to share your life with someone in triumph and tragedy and everything in between.
That is what I want more than anything, more than running another marathon or traveling the world or finding the most delicious ice cream sundae. And I don't care if that makes me sappy or naive or just plain stupid. I don't care if it makes me look weak or vulnerable. I'm not afraid to be any of those things. I'm only afraid that the thing I want most is the one thing I may never find.
Lyric of the moment: "And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one. 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun, to distract our hearts from ever missing them. But I'm forever missing him..."
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