Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Brief instances of intense bravery

The thing no one tells you about awesomeness is that it's scary as hell. There's a certain amount of fear involved in peering over the precipice of seriously amazing things. So the path to awesomeness lies not in never being afraid, but in embracing the uncertainty, jumping off the cliff, going all in despite your fears. You don't have to be fearless. All you really need are brief instances of intense bravery.

Like that time I finally came to my senses and wore the cute bikini to a friend's pool party. The one I bought a few years ago but never wore because of all my fears about not being in-shape enough or tan enough to wear it. And if anyone thought I looked particularly obese and/or horrifying, they were at least polite enough to keep their opinions to themselves. Though I was too busy having a great time to care what anyone else thought anyway. The only six pack I have is a six pack of cookies. And my skin is always going to be so light that every imperfection is readily apparent in exquisite detail. But it doesn't matter. I don't need ridiculously defined muscles to wear a bikini. All I need are guts. I only get one body and it is capable of amazing things. I don't want to feel bad about it, I just want to enjoy being alive in it. And like, whatever. I pee in the woods now and I'm rapidly approaching mediocrity in snot rocketing, so I have no shame anymore. And if I have enough guts to go out in public wearing what basically amounts to about two napkins' worth of fabric, I have to assume I can do pretty much anything.

Which is encouraging, since I'm on the verge of some terrifyingly exciting things. And I'm totally jumping in headfirst, so I can use all the guts I can get. I've come to realize that fear is a good indication that I'm in the right place. I mean, think about it. You never feel afraid when you're sitting at home watching TV and eating popcorn. You feel afraid when you're at the starting line of an epic race or when you meet the love of your life or when Gustavo says "Push-up position." The trick is to let the fear guide you and then let it go. Don't think about all the bad things that could happen if you jump off that cliff. Think of all the awesome things you'll miss if you don't.

Lyric of the moment: "But there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears..."

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