Monday, December 5, 2011

Impossible and ridiculous things

I always wished this said "Why, sometimes I've done as
many as six impossible things before breakfast."
I always wanted to go to the airport/bus stop/train station and just hop on a plane/bus/train to a random destination and see what happened. But I've never done it. The free spirit in me thinks that this would be a fantastic and hilarious adventure, but the practical part of me points out that I have no one to go with and it would be expensive and, knowing me, I would get lost. I seem to have these competing desires for spontaneity and security. I don't know if there is a way to have both. I want a life of change and surprises, of late nights and long conversations, but I also want a life of paying off my mortgage and retiring early, of getting a good night's sleep and getting up before dawn to run.

As they say, you can't sleep in and also watch the sunrise. Actually, I don't think anyone says this. I just made it up. But after saying it I think, well technically you could do both if you had a really sweet view out of your bedroom window, and if you timed it just right, you could wake up long enough to sit up in bed, watch the sun rise, and then fall back asleep. Except that I wouldn't fall back asleep. I would watch the sun rise and then want to be out running in it. Or at least out drinking chai in it. Preferably running and then drinking chai. And then I would think this is really super awesome and I wish someone else was here to see it too. But I wouldn't call anyone because even if I have known them since the beginning of time, I always feel like my friends are in the middle of something far more important and any call I make is an inconvenience to them. Because I am all sorts of ridiculous. And I don't even know where I am going with this anymore.

Oh yeah, I need to stop talking myself out of awesome things because I don't have the guts to do them alone or to ask someone to come with me.

If you know how to do this, please tell me.

Lyric of the moment: "Do you like dreaming of things so impossible or only the practical or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days just to end them with someone you care about..."

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